CHAPTER 1: READ THE FINE PRINT, DUNCE
Crowd: *Roars* Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Trophies: *Bounce on the ground*
Crowd: . . .Trophies? BOOO!! WE WANTED A FIGHT!
Trophies: *Turn into Mario and Kirby*
Crowd: YEAAAAHHH!! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Mario: Let's-a go!
Peach: *In the stands* Yeah! Beat that puffball up!
Zelda: Come on, Kirby!
Kirby: Poyo! *Swallows Mario*
Crowd member 1: What the. . .If I wanted to see a tiny creature swallow something twice its size; I'd have gone to an eating contest!
Kirby: *Beats Mario*
Mario: *Becomes a trophy*
Kirby: *Brings Mario back to life*
Kirby: *Shakes hands with Mario*
Crowd: WE WANTED A FIGHT! BOO! *Starts throwing stuff at Kirby and Mario* . . .HOLY FU--
Primids: *Drop down*
Peach and Zelda: We're no weak princesses! *Join the fight*
Crowd: YEAH! FIGHT!!!
Mario: *Checks names* Primids? Spaaks? I don't know what the guys who named these things were on, but I want some of it!
Monsters: *Are defeated*
Mario, Kirby, Zelda, Peach: Oh yeah!
Ancient Minister: *Comes down with a bomb*
ROBs: *Activate the bomb*
Ancient Minister: *Flies away*
Crowd: OH ****!
Crowd Member1: If I get out of this alive, I'm gonna sue the **** out of the owners!
Crowd Member2: No you can't.
Crowd Member1: Why not?
CM2: *Points at tickets* Read that.
CM1: *Reads tickets* Epic battle against two of the biggest gaming icons. Today only.
CM2: *Facepalm* Not that! That!
CM1: *Reads fine print* We are not responsible for any injury or death that may result from this event. Well what could happen just by watching a fight?!
CM2: Obviously this.
Mario: *Runs towards the bomb*
Cannon: *Knocks Mario far, far away*
Kirby: . . .Crap.
Peach, Zelda: ARRGGHH!
Petey Piranha: *Captures Peach and Zelda into cages*
Peach: Mari--Kirby, save me!
Zelda: *Is banging her head against the bars* Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why.
Kirby: I'll save you! *Attacks cages*
Zelda's cage: *Shatters*
Zelda: Thank you Kirby! *Hugs him*
Petey: RRAAWWGGHH! *Dies*
Peach: *Struggles out of her cage*
Wario: *Appears out of nowhere* TROPHY TIIIIIIMMMMMEEE!!! *Aims gun at Kirby and Zelda*
Kirby: *Takes out hammer*
Wario: Erhm. . . *Aims gun at Peach*
Kirby: Peach! *Runs towards her*
Wario: *Fires gun at Peach*
Peach: Bastard! *Turns into a trophy*
Wario: Ha! This is the best day ever! *Runs off*
Bomb: THREE SECONDS UNTIL DETONATION.
Kirby: *Leaves with Zelda on a Warp Star*
CM2: Well, we're dead.
CM3: "Come to the fight!", you said. "It'll be fun!", you said! Well let me tell you something mister; THIS ISN'T FUN!
Arena: *Is dragged into Subspace*
Kirby and Zelda: *Barely escape*
Kirby: So. . .What's your favorite food?
END OF CHAPTER 1